From

Location

Message

Date Posted

On top of Brush Mountain, Pa.

I planted quite a few of these seeds and am not seeing that many big blossoms. Is it just me? No offense intended Prokchop.

7/12/2020 10:55:52 AM

Central NY

Lol...I never get that many good early ones...the ones I do rarely amount to much...yes, even the nice big ones...patience for us in the northeast marv...they are coming soon.

7/12/2020 12:02:30 PM

Central NY

Except maybe those WR seeds I sent...those could be Roma tomatoes...other than that, u should be good

7/12/2020 12:12:07 PM

Eastern Shore of VA

I’m finding my best blossoms above 4 feet on the Domingos.

7/12/2020 2:09:00 PM

Lebanon, Oregon

One Lambchop megabloom is pollinating and is huge! Porkchops had a rough start but are growing. I’ll wait.

7/12/2020 2:13:07 PM

Norfolk, UK

Awesomely healthy plants for me on Lampchop & Porkchop.

But very quiet on the megablooms bar the odd double, or modest looking multiple - I always seem to find this with Domingos on the whole tho, they produce late season megablooms for me (typically) - but I’ gonna need some blooms soon tho! I want to be pollinating now...

They had megas on truss one, but earlier on the plant than I wanted.

7/12/2020 3:00:35 PM

Grittyville, WA

Frank the Tank put out a nice mega for me... most of my plants are crap but its been showing that its the real deal.

7/12/2020 3:44:50 PM

Honesdale, Pennsylvania

Marv is calling you out Captain. Look closely he called you "Prokchop" Pretty sure that's a bad word.

7/13/2020 9:51:55 AM

On top of Brush Mountain, Pa.

Hmmm...nothing wrong with Prokchop. I googled Prokchop and came up with nothing, at least in English. Might be a Russian word. I'll check it out on the Cucumber Forum.

7/13/2020 10:27:22 AM

Central NY

Sun UVa....

7/13/2020 10:42:45 AM

Central NY

Actually it’s gonna get worse marv...people will be posting big ones soon while we sit and watch..good news is 2-3 weeks is huge this time of year for us here in the northeast...explosive growth with everything...we’ll catch up into September...then it’ll snow for 7 months...give and take I guess.

7/13/2020 11:33:06 AM

Lakewood, WA

Prokchop is his real name because he's a Secret Agent Man! They gave him a Prokchop and took away his name!

7/13/2020 4:01:16 PM

Lakewood, WA

Oh noes, now his cover is blown and he has to return to Chernoble, where he first learned that he had a green thumb, and to his Russian wife, Helga. How tragic!

7/13/2020 4:06:49 PM

Team Canuckle Heads

And what about his 2 kids.....Domingo and Mater

7/13/2020 8:20:11 PM

Lakewood, WA

The kiddos had a bit of a smelly ride back to Russia. In order to better evade customs, the seeds were hidden under the insoles of Prokchop's gardening shoes in his checked luggage. They were later grown to become Russia's largest over in Chernoble, and they became World-Famous Mater Models specializing in sunglasses that glowed in the dark.

7/13/2020 9:21:56 PM

Lakewood, WA

Tomorrow: Lambchop Gets Her Own Chapter in the Prokchop Series!

7/13/2020 11:19:35 PM

Lebanon, Oregon

I sense a weekly reality show in the making,

7/14/2020 12:40:22 AM

Central NY

Helga?... i haven’t seen that silverback since 1987.

7/14/2020 8:21:15 AM

Team Canuckle Heads

Rumor has it that his mistress AKA: Lambchop keeps Helga tied up in the cellar and feeds her all the culled tomatoes

7/14/2020 10:29:55 AM

Lakewood, WA

lol!

7/14/2020 4:10:18 PM

Lakewood, WA

After a long, tiring day of teaching the young-uns, Lambchop arrives home and finds this note on the kitchen counter:

"Dear Lambchop, by the time you find this note, I will be slamming the free drinks and my rear end will be falling asleep on a plane back to my hometown of Chernoble, Russia. My name is actually Prokchop, and I'm A SECRET AGENT MAN! They gave me a Prokchop, and they took away my name!

I am so sorry that I have disappointed you once again, but my cover was blown on that danged bigpumpkins.com website, and my superiors sent me this plane ticket and told me to get on board or ELSE!

Also, Ned and Val are SECRET AGENTS from the rogue nation of Cam-Burp-Istan, but just pretend you don't know. Both of their real names cannot be pronounced accurately in the English Language. The government there is trying to get a jump on agriculture using what they have plenty of, myco and biosolids. So just act like your normal self, OK?

You will probably want to move right away since the Biosolid Boyz know where you are.

I WILL ALWAYS WUV YOU LAMBCHOP!!!! You're the best!


ALL MY LOVE FOREVER,

Prokchop"

7/14/2020 4:45:38 PM

Lakewood, WA

Lambchop reads this and thinks to herself, "There always was something a bit funny about Prokchop!"

7/14/2020 5:44:43 PM

Lakewood, WA

The next episode features Ned, Val, and Ken, woot!

7/14/2020 5:45:56 PM

Central NY

Lol...can’t wait

7/14/2020 6:48:42 PM

Alaska

The next episode will feature Dan Sutherland the tomato Slayer! They never saw him coming.

7/15/2020 2:42:37 PM

Central NY

Yes!!!... can’t wait for that 10 pound presentation!!... hopefully he doesn’t tell the clubs to take a shit again this year when they request seeds.

7/15/2020 3:32:44 PM

Lebanon, Oregon

You’re assuming he’ll grow the heaviest this year?

7/15/2020 4:56:03 PM

Team Canuckle Heads

Well played Rebel

7/15/2020 8:29:45 PM

Lakewood, WA

The season is far from over, woot!

7/16/2020 5:02:21 PM

Lakewood, WA

[OK, back to Secret Agent Prokchop]

Ken receives a desperate email from Val: "Dear Ken, As you may be aware, there is a thread in the Tomato Growing Forum titled "Megablossoms on Lambchop and Porkchop?" where some grower named "Suburban Gardener" blows our cover and reveals that Ned and I are actually from the rogue nation of Cam-Burp-Istan and that we are actually here to spy on the best methods of utilizing what we have an abundance of back home: myco and bio-solids!

If our superiors discover the leaks, we will be sent back to Cam-Burp-Istan where we will have to resume our former lives of camel farming! I can't eat any more camel cheese nor wear any more scrathy clothing made of woven camel fur! Ned is nearly hyperventilating at just the THOUGHT of going back to Cam-Burp-Istan and eating dust all day long!

Please delete the thread ASAP, I hope this email does not arrive too late!


Thank You,

Val"

7/16/2020 5:14:27 PM

Lakewood, WA

Ken reads this email and checks out the thread. Ken thinks to himself, "This is the weirest thing Suburban Gardener has ever posted" and hits the delete button as soon as possible.

7/16/2020 5:16:03 PM

Lakewood, WA

Ken replies to Val:

"The thread has been deleted, I hope I'm not too late!"

7/16/2020 5:16:32 PM

Lakewood, WA

Meanwhile, Secret Agent Prokchop is awoken by the Captain's notice that they were about to begin their descent to the Copenhagen airport.

What the heck... Copenhagen?!!!!! Prokchop thought he was going to Moscow! This is epic!!!!!

7/16/2020 5:30:34 PM

Lakewood, WA

Lambchop decides she isn't going to take any carp from those Biosolid Boyz. She grabs her loppers and heads out the garage. "Where are those security cameras that we got for Christmas but never installed?" she asks Saydee the dog.

7/16/2020 5:39:04 PM

Central NY

<——turns page

7/16/2020 6:03:07 PM

On top of Brush Mountain, Pa.

Why do I feel like my thread has been hijacked? >>>>>>>>>>>>>>turns out the light

7/16/2020 6:54:55 PM

Team Canuckle Heads

No kidding Marv. Shows how important spell check is!

7/16/2020 7:30:42 PM

Central NY

Punctuation too marv... help yer Uncle jack off a horse....help yer Uncle Jack, off a horse...eye before E...you know the thing...

7/16/2020 7:39:14 PM

Honesdale, Pennsylvania

Would be interested in trying some of those mushrooms from Western Washington....

7/17/2020 9:54:09 AM

Lakewood, WA

Too much quarantine for me, lol!

Sorry I hijacked your thread, Marv! I'll continue the story on a new thread. It's been fun to have something entertaining to think about.

7/17/2020 4:26:53 PM

On a cliff in the desert

Is this going to be your new career as a writer Dawn? I can see something kind like a Real Growers of the GPC series that showcases the different struggles growers experience.

7/17/2020 4:37:54 PM

On top of Brush Mountain, Pa.

Suburban, no need to move. I give it to you. Enjoy.

7/17/2020 5:10:30 PM

Lakewood, WA

Awww, thanks Marv! Thank you too Greg! I have plenty of imagination, that's for sure :-)

7/17/2020 5:54:14 PM

Team Canuckle Heads

Now...the continuing story

7/17/2020 7:37:54 PM

Grittyville, WA

Do we also have the record for largest mushroom? We might.

7/17/2020 7:52:28 PM

Lakewood, WA

Meanwhile, Suburban Gardener put on her WWI-like mask with P-100 protection to visit her friendly neighborhood dental office. Sounding like Darth Vader upon every breath, the staff stops to stare at her hair going everywhere under the mask straps.

As the dental chair reclined, all the blood flowed to her Merlot Brain, making her feel even weirder than before...

lol

7/17/2020 8:15:39 PM

Lakewood, WA

[North Shore, I can write you out of the script if you would like. It would be more fun to keep you in, though!

Also, my preference would be to write many of you into the script for entertainment purposes! If anyone does NOT want to participate, please post in this thread and I will not mention you in the story line.

Thank you and have a nice day!]

7/17/2020 8:48:06 PM

On top of Brush Mountain, Pa.

I'm in.

7/17/2020 9:25:51 PM

Grittyville, WA

I am in if I get to sleep, somehow... Getting excited about my tomato. I think the number of pounds your tomato is... is the number of hours of sleep you lose. Or maybe I was watching music videos on youtube...

7/18/2020 12:07:17 AM

Lakewood, WA

Prokchop digs through his carry-on and double-checks his tickets. Yesss, two weeks in Copenhagen with the Scandinavian babes!!!! Prokchop feels like a lottery winner!!! He just hopes Lambchop doesn't hear about this.....

Prokchop looks forward to checking in with his Russian boss Preg to find out what is REALLY going on with the Biosolid Boyz and all.

Preg loves Preggo Pasta Sauce from America and buys it by the case on Amazon and has it shipped to him, thus the code name. Prokchop hasn't chatted with Preg in some time and hopes all is well with him in Pasta Land.

7/20/2020 1:45:45 AM

Lakewood, WA

"It's that over-processed flavour that I can't get enough of" Preg would always say, as Prokchop chuckled to himself.

7/20/2020 2:14:05 AM

Lakewood, WA

[I hope everyone enjoys the humor here!]

Thank you for reading!

7/20/2020 2:15:19 AM

Lakewood, WA

[Danged Real Life! Still thinking about this thread!]

7/20/2020 6:00:36 PM

Wixom MI.

Dam prokchops life is more interesting than porkchops real life !!! Lol... :-)

7/20/2020 8:16:49 PM

Lakewood, WA

My spouse is a experiencing a new round of health issues, I hope he doesn't pick up the danged 'Rona while in the hospital. I think I'll be giving Prokchop a rest for a bit.

In the meanwhile, he can chat up the Scandinavian flight attendants for a few more drinks to sLam before landing, wheee!

7/21/2020 3:06:11 PM

Lakewood, WA

Yay, that was a nothing-burger as long as he stays free of the 'Rona! Carry on everyone, nothing to see, lol!

Take care out there!

7/21/2020 7:06:57 PM